Archive for June, 2008

• i wouldve posted this last night if i could. havent been on for …

  Thursday, June 26th, 2008

  well, not including things at home. (:

  spent my natal day with my bff.
  i had a great time!!
  was really satisfied.
  thanks for the awesome day cherise!!
  i can in no degree stop thanking la. hehe.

  first day of school wasnt that bad.
  it was good, actually.
  swapped seats with kris.
  i was blur at first.
  i mean ms lee-side was like, ” okay im gonna change some of your seats”
  ” fatin!”
  i looked at her, waiting for her to make out me my new seat..
  ” swap with kriscillia.”
  i was likely huh.?
  i dont see the reason for changing our seats…..
  WAIT.
  at least i DIDN’T.
  haply now i do?
  possibly AHEMMMM, she uhhh axiom..more AHEMM, connections….coughschemistrycoughs between ms kriscillia and her dear ex partnerCOUGHSSSSSSS.
  hey i dont know seriously.
  just saying okay.
  that which do YOU think?
  anyway, i like my seat now! really enjoy.
  i can learn math from wei meng again.
  its easy to work with him.
  but i think i should really stop bullying him >

• Today

  Tuesday, June 24th, 2008

  Today at maths we made polyhedrons with some paper and card. It was really fun because we got to deck them first. My one was a disaster!! At SSR we were allowed to carry on with our polyhedrons so I just decorated mine besides. We did writing and we were doing our plans for our story’s. My plan was 3 pages long-winded!!! At lunch I had sewing and we started making our pleasing toys. Mine is pink and green and it is called Flip! After lunch I had to end something secret and I would tell you put on the contrary a certain someone might be looking at this! We painted the art the stage black and made more polyhedrons. Tomorrow is the flight to Jupiter and we get to wear pajamas and we get to bring a soft toy. We procure to watch Nims Island as for one’s advantage. We’re going to have pilots, flight attendants and customs officers. Alsooooo 3 lucky people get to travel 1st class on the couch!

• A Great Weekend

  Monday, June 23rd, 2008

  Then we went to the Popular and ‘Pay Less Books’ store as well .. and she managed to beget some of her favourite book and stationeries needed for her studies and work as well. Guess which ! I was wandering around the Popular Bookstore, I managed to pick up RM10 note from the ground. SOmeone very little it I guess .. its a gift for me. XD
  Got to make full use of it .. as old people’s saying .. Not Good to Keep it ..
  Hmm .. I astonishment whether its true or not. But believe it better than not …

  Besides that we managed to get ourself a pair of chopsticks .. that looks pretty nice. As usual .. hers is blue color and sap is red. I will capture them on the supposition that I got the chance again .. XD

  Thought of going for Mamak session for supper with My Dear .. but then subsequently to both of us also tired. So we headed back home-born to procreate some rest during the time that chit-chatting till we slept on the bed. What a tiring day .. but over and above Happy one.

• hee!! guys.. guys… hee… today rite??!! i went to school!! haha …

  Sunday, June 22nd, 2008

  
  *BRIANA!!
  -MY BLOG CREATOR!!!

  MY LIMITED EDITION W900i

  PSP

  ALL MY BROTHERS

  *EVAN
  -most jiang yi qi de

  *XIANGJIE
  -most lazy

  *VENOM
  -most rich de

  *ERIC
  -most lan jiao de

  *CHRISTOPHER
  -most beng de

  *KENDRICK
  -got 3 balls de

  *JINDAO
  - IQ n EQ lowest but one of the qing sheng!very strict guy, devoted!!

  *KOK HAO
  -most cock de

  *LIMZE
  -sell ba gua de

  *ADAM
  -everyday daydreaming to be a star

  *MARCUS
  -always over confident

  *WEENAH
  -mouth be possible to don know turn like wat!cute!

  *YUE WEI
  -always carry a long john knife!

  *YUE XUAN
  -lam pa yo ah yo! her buying and selling mark!!

  sorry if i did nt wish u out,
  cuz household too big liao,
  got 36 brothers hanging out always!!
  

• Wo Hen Wo Ai Ni

  Sunday, June 22nd, 2008

  well its been like around 16 days since i blogged. i’m sure all of u misses me. XD.

  recently been through quite a lot la. some major and earnest problem that i be obliged to make decisions on. but i have a title to to admit that sometimes i will try to avoid by keeping my mind on something else. Haizz.. this problem choose decide my friends, best friends and my smiles…

  Should i just follow my heart or brains? everyone says that following your heart will never lead you wrong. limit then what is ur brains for? Confused~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Recently i am into Zhang Hui Mei haha. a surpassingly pro and famous chinese female singer. she sing very powerful! haha. i tink i am going to submit to singing lessons at so early an hour. haha. how can a choir boy dunno how to sing?!

  over here wanna specially thank Howard for core very nice to me in that day. haha. thank you DI! shall not elaborate on what he did haha

  hmm… over here wanna assert something to my 2 best friends la. actually i also dunno what to say. its not tat i wanna elude you 2 la. but i reali need some time on my own to tink through my own problems. and at times its just that the timing is not in that place. wrong timing. yup. volition you guys bestow me some time?

  by reason of those who love me, i know you all will stand single’s ground by me. thank you!

  well undistinguished test coming ler. going to choing studies liao. haizz. dunno whether can concentrate again la. yup.

  OH OH! i come short a giant monkey from minitoons haha. 5o bucks sia! tink i use my pocket money to buy hehe. i not at any time had a big big soft toy before. when i was small my nose to a high degree senstive so my mother threw away all the soft toys. then when i was bigger my dad direct sae “Boy play what civil knick-knack?” but i exactly want a big soft toy to hug mah. haha. so i decided to buy my first large silly toy! a monkey one too! XD

  hmm… tmr going to eat sushi with my aunt. at Sushi Teh. quite happy cause like finally close to aunts and cousin liao.

  that day i talked to my cousin overseas, the one at england. cause my nick was “Should i make the resolution?”

  She said :” whatever decision you made you must keep with it and dun regret it”

  Then i said: “but what if it is a decision that whether or not i make then my friends will not be friends and the whole society demise change its look on me?”

  then she said : “who cares that which the society looks upon you? if you keep tinking abt others’ views then you will have to consider the whole world’s view and you will neglect yourself. why must you neglect your feelings and tink abt what others feel? “

  fountain what she said made sense la. i likewise dunno. haizz. well blog till here bah. study!

• Trigger…Self-Injury…alternate things to do to help yourself

  Friday, June 20th, 2008

  deep breathing

  relaxation techniques

  call a friend, your therapist or a crisis line

  try not be be alone (visit a friend, fare shopping, etc.)

  take a hot bath

  listen to music

  go for a walk

  scratch in a journal

  more people find it helpful to draw red lines on themselves with washable markers instead of cutting themselves

  hold ice cubes in your hands - the cold causes pain in your hands, but it is not dangerous or harmful (some persons find it relieves the urge to harm themselves for that moment)

  punching a bed or a pillow (when nothing but a physical outlet for your anger and frustration will work).

  scratch draw a picture upon the body a friendly painting of thicket or use a screw driver and stab at the piece of wood. (can be not the same pertaining to physics way to release your emotions without harming yourself.)

  avoid temptation (i.e. avoiding the area in CVS where the razor blades are kept, etc.)

  try to find your own creative ways as outlets for emotions.

  learn to confront others/making your own feelings known instead of keeping them inside

  go outside and cry out and yell

  require up a sport (a form of exercise can help you release tension, etc.)

  be with image, clay, play-doo, etc. (the person who suggested this mentioned that they would make a big sculpture and do whatsoever they wanted to it. They said it was helpful to calm the urge to self-injure, plus it gave them some archetype of what might be underlying the solicitude.

  lead a picture of what or who is workmanship you disclosed of temper
  instead of harming yourself, try massaging the area you want to harm with massage oils or creams, reminding yourself that you are special and you deserve to treat yourself and your body by love and respect

  go to house of god or your square of worship
  wear a sound shrill cleaner or something that will fit steady the places that you injure.

  break the object that you use to self-injure as a second nature to show that you have control over it.

  write a letter to the person(s) that have hurt you and express how they made you feel. Theses letters do not have to be in perfect form and you do not have to please anyone but yourself. You do not have to bestow these letters to the people, but it is a burdensome way to release the feelings that you are carrying within. After you pen the letters, you can decide then what to do with them. Some people find destroying the letters help (i.e. tear them up, twist them in a lake, etc.)

  do some household chores (i.e. cleaning)

  do some cooking

  try some sewing, crossstitch, etc.

  recite a poem, prayer or anything else familiar the comforts you multiple spells

  write down all your peremptory points and why you do not deserve to be hurt

  write in your diary as being what cause you want to hurt yourself and if you have hurt yourself, write down what caused it to happen so in the future you can prevent it from happenings - or find deficient in the kind of your triggers were

  Play more kind of musical instrument. Even whether you don’t really know how to play, picking thoroughly tunes is a way to concentrate and help get rid of the push on to hurt yourself.

  yoga

  allow yourself to cry. Getting the tears out can make you feel better. It allows the internal to release, as opposed to self betray. Picture your "ickies" pouring out as you pack.

  Take a shower

  write down a word best associated with what you are feeling (i.e. horrible, sad, remote, angry) and prolong to write it down, over and over. Sometimes when you do that, the logomachy looks absurd etc., and it puts humor or a smile in your life.

  warble a song on what you are feeling. It’s another way to get it outside. Shout if you are made, etc. Let the wrangling just approach to you.

  Scribble on paper. Clutch the pen in your fist. It’s a way to diffuse it steady to paper. (Get a few sheets so they don’t tear.)

  Take item you are self injurying with and use it against something else. For example, if you are using a razor flat part, rip it across a towel. Sometimes seeing what "can" be done to an target can make a person think two times about using it in succession themselves. Can furthermore give the feeling of "doing it"…the tangible aspect.

  Make a catalogue of reasons why you are going to stop cutting. Every term you get the urge, read the list to remind yourself wherefore you shouldn’t. Also remember to put on that bound that you do not deserve to hurt yourself. You are important and special and you do not deserve to exist hurt.

  Concentrate on your breathing - take slow, deep breaths, in through your nose, in a puzzle from one side your mouth

  Take a bubble bath

  Take a shower

  Massage your body, put body glitter / fake tattoos / jewellery / henna on your skin. Remind yourself your body is special.

  Go for a walk

  Listen / caper / sing to confident music

  Pay attention to your visible form - imagine about how you are moving

  Watch some mindless tv / read a book

  Do something creative - eg pull, scratch poetry, play with playdough, practise a musical instrument, sing, do more gardening, set down in writing in a diary

  Make something (craft, needlework, etc.)

  Make a compliation tape. Start with score that expresses your emotion *now*, and work gradually through neutral to existing in fact and upbeat music.

  Do something FUN!!!

  Make yourself as comfortable as possible - curl up in a chair with soft toys

  Touch something familiar/safe

  Carry tokens to remind you of peaceful comforting things/people

  Create and practice mental safe places (shingly margin, cabin in the woods, peaceful mountain)

  Repetitive reality checking (It’s March 2003, and I’m going to be ok)

  Ask yourself how you feel, think about why you feel like that, and write it down

  Notice and withdraw from keep clear of black and white thinking

  Allow yourself to cry

  Allow yourself to ask for help and express your feelings.

  Use washable red markers to "cut" on your skin

  Place your hands in freezing cold water, or hold / suck convert into ice cubes

  Wear any elastic association around wrist and snap it when you have the urge to harm yourself

  Tear up wall-paper (old phonebooks, newspapers, etc.)

  Alternative between cuddling and punching something soft, the hollow or a pillow

  Plan regular activities for your utmost difficult time of day

  Clean the house

  Leave the room

  Talk to someone safe - via email, phone, in person - try not to isolate yourself.

  Help someone around you (reach out on a bulletin board, newsgroup, phone list etc.)

  Go to church or your place of worship; pray or meditate
  sources
  take out Christmas decorations and look at them

  hang up a stocking and put some goodies in it on the side of when you dont hurt yourself and after the epissode passes empty the stocking

  take a toothbrush and polish and clean all your jewelry

  polish something tarnished like a brass lamp and keep buffing until its shiney

  get a bag of balloons from dollar store and blow them up till your out of breath and then get a striaght pin and pop them one through one and then do it some more!

  One of the best things for me is to hold my dog or my cat. Although I have several pets, I am blessed with one dog and single in kind cat who each just be in love by being held on my lap, and will stay there as long as I need them to, and they seem pretty sensitive to comforting me, and I feel like they understand when I’m sense of touch bad, and I don’familiarily have to find words to explain it to them. A soft toy animal ability not be quite the same, but I have gotten a lot of comfort that way too.

  IT may sound insulting but try this. It’s simple. Easy and requires the least bit of physical effort. DONT DO IT!

  For actually being, being a "recovering" self mutilater I have been end the ups and downs of urges and than the regrets. Like a crack dedicate we suffer from the same affliction. An addiction I call it. Something to release the pain.

  What are you supposed to answer instead? Be creative. I know what helps me is writing it out word for word what I am doing and how I am doing it and what I am feeling. So the whole mental process is captured on paper hangings and physically there are no cuts for vulgar herd to gawk at.

  If you are desperate and verily really want to quit, you should be willing to try anything. Once you get time under your belt (just like in AA) it does get a not much easier.

  If all other fails, be effective yourself that you will translate it in ten minutes. Wait ten minutes. If you still feel the implore in imitation of the ten minutes give yourself ten more. THIS IS ACTUAL EFFECTIVE. Results vary however. If ten minutes is too long-winded, start with five.

  Remember the reasons why you don’face to face want to cut helps to. For example for me, I know that working in a public place in a management postion commerce with vulgar herd in a small community in the summer time can not support such coping mechanisms.

  It does suck though once the thought gets there. It becomes a compulsion. An obsession. But REMEMBER FIRST AND FOREMOST YOU ARE IN CONTROL.

  Do you want to be an doer in the play or the director? Life is your script to write. Whether you write your own script or follow another’s is up to you. And there are no rewrites.

  move around fervently while yelling loudly. you enjoin possess exhausted promptly.

  break something that is yours and you dont value.

  What I’ve done …

  1) Write - write anything, write poetry, write words
  2) Draw - same thing as title, just let your hand propel around
  3) Watch a funny movie
  4) Go outside
  5) Go people-watching (gravely, watching other people leads to the whole of sorts of interesting observations about human behaviour)
  6) Have a nap (when I wake up from a nap, I have to actually struggle to remember what was causing me such pain before)
  7) Come on to PC (I’ve done this - just being here makes me feel a bit better)
  Like Jeopardy - Phone a friend!
  9) Wash dishes - hot water doesn’t burn your skin, but it can give some result of relief and you get the added reward of having clean dishes!
  10) If you’ve got a pet dumb creature - spend some time by it, talk to it tell it in what condition you’re feeling - animals usually really like to listen or they’re attention hogs and you’ll be so busy catering to their whims that you won’t have time to remember about it!
  11) Look through (non-triggering) photo’s of your past - of friends and family or other pretty pictures.
  12) Listen to music - loud music if you need to - sing along out deafening if you want to as well!
  13) Scream out loud or tear paper (old phone books work interest) if you’re feeling mad
  14) If you’re sad - relinquish yourself to cry or if you can’t, watch a sad movie
  15) If you’re anxious, try to locate the source - write it down, as many times as needed - create a plan to clear the problem - take deep breaths
  16) Bake or cook - fresh made aliment = a bit happier (especially if you make something that you really like)

  I don’t think we have instructions for progressive muscle relaxation posted yet, so here’s a connective:

  http://www.guidetopsychology.com/pmr.htm

  Basically you just rigid a muscle form into groups, hold, and at that time relax that muscle dispose, working from any side your body systematically. Some start through the feet, others with the hands or the head. Don’t tense past the point of mild pain (I can want to overdo it).

  The directions exceeding get good information, but don’t go through each muscle group step by step, and are long. Here’s another that is more printable. I suggest you read both and practice what seems to work best for you.

  http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/musclerelaxation.html

  http://www.selfinjury.org/docs/selfhelp.html

  If you scroll down a paragraph or two this page has lists of things to do in lieu of cut categorized by what you are feeling/reasons you want to divide.

  Don’t know if this is already on the list.. I know it really helps me out at what time I want to cut… atleast to some extent. I occasion by wasting a elastic around my wrist and with equal reason I snap it whenever I get that feeling. It has really saved me some scars. It inflicts that distracting somewhat twinge of pain without really doing anything falsely.

  Try doing a Soduku puzzle. That’sitting a good one too. I do Sudoku puzzles when my brain gets stuck by whatever else I’m trying to do. You can do them online here: http://www.websudoku.com/

  write all the feelings that I am having downward on paper then I tear the paper up.. it works most of the time!

• Wrapping Christmas presents

  Friday, June 20th, 2008

  I tried to pack my room and wrap presents! on Monday..
  Yes, My off day is on Monday. Cannot ah?

  Open my cupboard, saw this proud orange plastic bag.
  
  End up playing with SOME my soft toys. I have power to name 99% of the people who gave me which soft toy(session). Honestly, I don’t know how long more have power to I keep these soft toys until they be turned into super going to decay and dirty..

  Note to all friends, please do not give me courteous toys already.. No more room for gently toys le..

  

  After putting away my soft toys, I end to do some “work”.
  I’ve started wrapping Christmas presents!!!

  Hubby says I’m crazy. Where got people wrap presents 6 months in advance one???
  But I’m very slow one mah. One off set time wrap a couple of presents, by the time reach Christmas, should exist just right. :p

  Now I’m kind of worried by the vacant time it’s Christmas, my presents all old and the wrapping paper become yellow liao. *faints*

• Take a look at all my souvenirs I brought back from Beijing, China …

  Thursday, June 19th, 2008

  Take a look at all my souvenirs I brought back from Beijing, China

  Went to Beijing for holiday from the 4th to the 10th of June 2008. Didn’t intelligencer anything immediately after the holiday coz too tired after the misstep.

  

  The list of souvenirs are:=
  1) KO alternator Prowl in China police decals (amazingly accurate and well built)
  2) 3 big hand-painted fridge magnets (2 of them has QC problems, haih China makes the worlds magnets and can’t even get its have a title to magnets right!!!)
  3) Great Wall “hero card”; you bribe it when you climb a short (but extremely steep) portion of the great wall at the top
  4) OCT theater ticket (some theater exploit)
  5) Beijing 2008 soft toys
  6) Beijing 2008 2-D fridge magnets (this ones work well)
  7) Thermo-sensitive Beijing 2008 mug (decal change color when hot water is poured)
  Forbiddden Palace museum fridge magnets (the one with the red and yellow baju)

  and many more souvenirs which my parents bought for themselves. As you can regard, i’m further of a fridge magnet/soft petty commodity collector type of tourist.

  Anyway the trip to Beijing was great, although it can be a little better. Few things about this Beijing trips:-
  1) Tour agency will prevail upon you to more tourist sales place like those selling pearls, tea, herbal remedy etc, bring you into a room (not locked I can make certain you) and give some lecture/demo and behind that expect you to pervert with money. Can’t blame the traveller companies, its their tourist dept. directive. And the prices are not cheap both since you are gainful tourist price. One of the places take a bribe for burn cream and the demonstrator actually BURN himself with a glowing hot heated chain to show how effective it is. Some can even get upset if they know they will not get the sales.
  2) Shopping in their “pasar malam” type of shopping center can make even the BEST bargain hunters KALAH TERUK. Some of the sales ladies/men are well verse in English and know how to purchase to their advantage. Also they will quote a substantially higher price and you distress to bargain it down to appropriate levels, although the price of TF there seem probable those in toy shops in KL.
  3) Beijing has been cleaned up for the 2008 games. No kidding, all the buses are new (including our tour bus), the streets are repaved and alot of places are still under construction (will they make it). But some roads can conceive 1 storey haughty walls along the streets to block the view from the main road of the houses/shops astern it. Like DBKL build a huge mural to block the view of some

• One more week

  Thursday, June 19th, 2008

  It is minus-five degrees Celsius right now. I wonder what I would be doing this time next week. Would I still be wandering down the streets of Dunedin, trying to breathe in its gas, for the brace of hours I have left? Would I be falsehood catatonic on my bed counting the stars? Or would I have existence nimble packing and unpacking my luggage, crossing my fingers so that THEY won’t exceed 20kg.

  K fine. I am just ambivalent about my feelings right at this moment, and being all poetic about it… just doesn’t fit in quite rectilinear.

  I think my mind is candid all unsupplied. I did a crazy thing just at present. After my last paper, I went fireside, and started packing. I emptied all my drawers. Put aside the clothes I want to give away. I folded all my clothes in my luggage. It is right there lying near the door, unzipped. I packed all the soft toys, my literature books, sleeping bag and a few clothes into my grey backpack, so that I can send them for shipping tomorrow. All soft toys to be shipped, but cookie enormity determination stay to accompany me for the remaining nights still. I already figured what to wear on the day, had all my rental paid, electricity included. And purpose you. I am leaving without more next week. NEXT Thursday.

  I put on’t know how to deal with all these. All the packing. The final Bon Voyage. The going back. To hearthstone. Not only to the country. But to everything else…like… the normalcy, the quarrels, the University, the workload, the stress,

• The quiz i needed to do. tagged by many peeps. THANKS to …

  Thursday, June 19th, 2008

  What is time from birth to death to you ?

  ?meaningless?

  If you have something troubling you now , what testament you do ?

  ?NOTHING>
  Who did you endure chat with in MSN today ?

  ?NO ONE>
  Who effect you admire the most ?

  ?in no degree one!
  Which month are you born in ?

  ?AUGUST!
  How are you feeling now ?

  ?happy

  What is the time now ?

  ?3.40PM according to the computer’s time
  Where are you now ?

  ?HOME
  What color would you like to dye your hair ?

  ?i importunate creditor wan to coloring liquor my hair. i like it the way it is.
  Why are you doing this ?

  ?tio tagged through A LOT OF PEOPLE to do this.
  What do you do when you’re moody ?

  ?meditate?
  At what age do you come short to get conjugal ?

  ?25?

  Who is more important ?

  ?everything&everyone

  Do you have enough confidence ?

  ?NO!

  Who is the person you trust greatest in number ?

  ?friends&family

  Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after rain ?

  ?Really? i can?
  If you gain a dream come true , what would it exist ?

  ?say you can fulfill it for me first then i tell you.

  What’s your goal for this year ?

  ?be an andersonian?
  Do you believe in eternal love ?

  ?nay&never

  What do you devotion ?

  ?everyone

  Do you deem it’s global warming now ?

  ?Is it?
  What feeling you hate in the greatest degree ?

  ?boredom-ness.
  You treasure every single friendship of yours ?

  ?OF COURSE

  Do you give up 2nd chance easily ?

  ?NO!
  Who cares for you most ?

  ?tribe&friends
  Where are you going later?

  ?I DONT KNOW!
  What will you bring when you fight ?

  ?weapons. WISDOM./
  What is the thing you regret ?

  ?NTH?
  What would you feel if nobody cares about you ?

  ?THINK I CARE?
  What if your stead two - timed you ?

  ?COOK HIM?
  What do you inadequacy now ?

  ?everything&anything.
  What is love ?

  ?Something that happens between a male n a female?

  TAGGED 10 ppl to do this quiz./
  1. Trudy
  2.Claudia
  3.Glynis
  4.Ncole
  5.Priscilla
  6.KOHQING
  7.Zawanah
  8.Rui En
  9.Sin Yee
  10.Shu Hui

  Those who did it, forget it.